Coffee is truly amazing.
Think about it. Coffee is the one legal stimulant (thank you, Jesus) that everyday, ordinary people like you and me can get jacked up on. Caffeine, the psychoactive stimulant present in coffee, is a powerful thingamajig. It’s magic, really. Coffee can improve our mood, enhance productivity, increase long-tem memory capabilities, and give us the energy we need to face the day. However, unlike other scary substance use, coffee consumption won’t land you in jail. Additionally, no one will send you to rehab for frequenting Starbucks one too many times. (Disclaimer: The American Psychological Association has indeed added “caffeine intoxication” to the new Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-5), but I prefer to think that they were just filling in space and weren’t meaning to inadvertently label millions of otherwise sane, coffee-drinking Americans as potentially pathological. Sheesh.)
The caffeine from coffee is so necessary for the survival of the human race, and all things productive, that when God designed the brain, He allowed for caffeine molecules to cross the blood-brain barrier and enter the central nervous system. Ah, yes, of course. (And again I say, amen.) Once consumed, the caffeine from coffee easily permeates the body. Even breastfeeding moms know that they had better not feed their infants after drinking a latte or downing a quick doppio, because once ingested, the caffeine from coffee seeps into breast milk. Sayonara naptime.
As much as coffee is a physiological miracle elixir that has the power to manipulate the conscious mind, the substance of coffee is worth so much more than its stimulating properties. Coffee changes the way we live. Coffee is a friend to anyone who asks it for companionship. I love to share my quiet time with coffee. Hot coffee keeps chilled hands warm on cold winter mornings, and java over ice delivers unsurpassed refreshment on a hot summer day. Coffee keeps us in good company. It inspires writers to create masterpieces and motivates mothers to keep it going for just one. more. hour. Coffee has power. The aroma of coffee has the ability to fill a room with warmth, hope, and good juju. Coffee can brighten a day by its presence, or ruin it by its absence. The Urban Dictionary even has a word for the condition that is created when one doesn’t have any coffee. Depresso. Seriously. Depresso. As in, “the feeling one gets when he or she has run out of coffee and/or has no means of acquiring a caffeine fix.” Agreed. I digress.
Some of the most important events in life happen over coffee. Make-ups and break-ups ensue over mugs of the stuff. Glorious desserts are savored over brimming, steamy cups. Brilliant conversations emerge over sips and refills. Think about it. How many things in your life have revolved around the moments you have spent with coffee? Coffee is the pièce de résistance of each and every day. Ok, perhaps I exaggerate, but if I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times.
Coffee is mahvelous, dahling.
Coffee is the answer. Intuitively, I know it.
Really.
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